I’m a sleep talker. I always have been. I’ve been known to sleep walk too but not as much as rambling in the middle of the night about nonsense. I seriously feel so sorry for my hubby to be, Lee, who has to endure my weirdness in the middle of the night.
So, here are a few of my weirdest moments from my sleep…
- “What on earth is that?”
This was said by my Mom when I was living at home. I must have been about 20 at the time and my Mom would bring me a drink every morning. The one day, she came into my bedroom and shouted, “What on earth is that?” I shot up from my slumber in a panic, shouting, “What? What?” My Mom was pointing to a glass on my bedside table… that was filled with white stuff.
I was confused enough in my sleepy daze so, initially, I had no idea what it was. Then, I remembered a dream that I’d had in the middle of the night where I was squeezing liquid into a bucket. In unison with my dream, I had squirted all of my moisturising cream into the glass next to my bed. Thank goodness I hadn’t gotten thirsty during the night. Gross!
- See ya!
The first time Lee stayed at mine, I was living in a two-bed flat on my own. We had just started seeing each other so our relationship was very fresh. I don’t even think I had told him that I was a sleep talker/walker so he was in for a treat that night.
It was the middle of the night and I just decided to run! One minute, I was asleep next to Lee and, the next, I’d bolted out the door. Lee had to come and get me and coax me back to bed.
He clearly wasn’t put off though as he’s stuck around. Even after the next one…
- I was saving him, I swear!
Poor Lee does certainly have to endure quite a bit of stress during the night with me next to him. Most nights, I’ll scream or shout or rearrange the curtains or turn the bedside lamp on… but, there was one night when I was dreaming that he was being sucked into the bed. In my frazzled midnight mind, I put my hands round his neck to pull him back out of the bed. Well, Lee, who had been sleeping soundly, was completely surprised by this act and thought I was trying to choke him. He had to push me off him and I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t let me save him. We still disagree to this day about my valiance.
- Once a teacher, always a teacher
I have a sleep-talking app that I sometimes use to record myself during the night. A lot of the time, it only picks up a bit of shuffling about as Lee and I turn over throughout the night and I believe this is because, subconsciously, I know that the app is on so I’m not weird.
However, there have been times when it’s caught me muttering about something random but, one night, it caught me teaching a lesson in my sleep. I was telling the children to “sit on the carpet” and “go to Mrs M’s class”.
If you’re a sleep talker, it’s definitely worth getting the app.
- “I can’t climb it”
Now, this one dates back to about the year 1999 when I went on a school trip to Wales. I had to share a room with three other girls and, one morning, they told me that they had had a full blown conversation with me but I don’t remember a thing.
The day before, we had been rock-climbing and it had been a very successful activity. However, I must have been dreaming that I couldn’t do it because, apparently, I started shouting, “I can’t do it! I can’t climb that wall.” The girls were all bemused by my ramblings and we had a discussion about the whole thing; them informing me that I’d climbed the wall and me arguing that I couldn’t do it. They turned the lights on and I was sat up in bed. They asked if I was awake and I said, “Yes! I’ve been awake the whole time!” I hadn’t!! To this day, I still don’t have any recollection of this conversation.
So, there we have it! My top five weird sleep talking moments.
Are you a sleep talker?
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done in your sleep?
Loula Bella xoxo